Sympathy from a Vampire
by Senna3
Summary: Started of as another version of the alley scene in the episode 'Dead Things', now something a bit bigger... basically my re-write of S6 - Buffy and Spike together and no Tara death!
1. Default Chapter

"That's my girl, put it on me, put it all on me."  
  
Spike glared at the distraught Slayer, his back bent under the power of her attack.  
  
Buffy raised her arm again to hit him but then faltered. She turned away.  
  
Spike stood up straight and looked slightly confused but concerned.  
  
"Luv?" he asked softly.  
  
She put both hands against the wall to support herself as she sobbed. Her body shook with despair. He walked slowly over and put a hand to her shoulder.  
  
"Don't, Spike. Please" she whispered, looking over her shoulder briefly. "Don't what?" "Please don't make this harder." "I'm trying to make it easier for you."  
  
She turned and embraced him slowly not making eye contact with him. He was very surprised. He'd never received any such tender act from her before. Sure he'd taken her in the cemetery every night this week, but this was entirely different.  
  
"You did nothing wrong, pet"  
  
He caressed her hair gently while holding her close.  
  
"But I killed that girl" she murmured mournfully into the crook of his neck.  
  
More policemen rushed out of the station. Both Buffy and Spike turned their heads up at the noise but their arms remain around each other.  
  
"What was her name again?" says one of the policemen. "Katrina, Katrina Silber I think." said his partner as he opened the police car door.  
  
"Katrina" whispered Buffy, "Warrens girlfriend." She nodded slightly to herself while Spike looked perplexed. "I didn't kill her" she said defiantly, finally looking him straight in the eyes. "No, you didn't, luv"  
  
They suddenly smiled at each other. She had found the comfort she'd been seeking for so long.  
  
"I love you Buffy" he put up a finger to touch her cheek, but she recoiled.  
  
"I'm sorry Spike" she looked away, " I can't, I just can't."  
  
She turned and started to run out of the alley.  
  
"Buffy wait! Buffy!" he shouted angrily. He tossed the dustbins over in his rage and then growled loudly in game face. He stopped suddenly and looked in the direction Buffy was retreating. "Why can't you love me, pet." He says quietly. "Why can't you even care?" He looked down and then stalked away. 


	2. Dancing

TITLE: Sympathy for a Vampire 2 because I can't think of anything better, but if you can I'll think about re-naming it.  
  
RATING: PG or so for a little bit of swearing  
  
SUMMARY: Sequel to Sympathy for a Vampire, I may have taken the liberty of inserting myself in this fic. But whatever, I was bored and I like it. It's cute.  
  
SPOILERS: Up to Dead Things  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Buffy, Spike, Sunnydale, David Bowie, nor did I write 'Changes' but Senna is MINE! So don't touch her! But if there's anyone out there offering I wouldn't say no to Spike or David *wink wink*  
  
FEEDBACK: I would never have written this if it wasn't for the feedback I received previously so PLEASE!   
  
She kept stumbling as she half jogged, half walked away. Why…? She wasn't sure what she was feeling.  
  
iNot love…..it's never love…/i  
  
iIt's not the death thing, it's not because he's a vampire or because he understand how I feel. He doesn't. He never could.   
  
I don't miss heaven anymore. I can barely remember it now. It's just…everything else. I always thought I'd be dead by now. No, not dead. I though everything else would be taken care for and I'd just have to save the world once in a while. I used to have people I could depend on. People I though would be in my life forever, looking out for me.  
  
But they've gone…Angel, Giles, Riley…Dad.. /i  
  
She stopped, closed her eyes. Sniffed slightly.  
  
iMom. /i  
  
She slowly opened her eyes  
  
iMommy. /i  
  
iBut that doesn't explain what I feel for Spike/i  
  
She started walking again, intent on reaching home. She needed to talk to Dawnie  
  
iMaybe I don't feel, maybe this really is nothing.  
  
But it has to be more than that.  
  
Otherwise, I wouldn't care.  
  
I don't love him, I truly don't. Not yet and almost certainly never.  
  
Maybe if he just stopped, being like he is. So arrogant and sure of me. I though at first he did get me, before this started with him. He was so kind when I first came back, so gentle. Where did that Spike go? I think I could have loved him.  
  
Does he think I don't need that? That because I'm the Slayer I don't need to be romanced? I want a fairytale ending just as much as every other girl, but no one will offer it too me. It's all "Oh you're the Slayer and you're so strong. Opps, we can't be together!"  
  
It's not fair!! /i  
  
*****************  
  
He was bloody furious. He thought he might just kill someone, the chip be damned.  
  
He slammed his crypt door open and marched over to the nearest bottle of whisky.  
  
iBloody, stupid, ungrateful, bossy little chit!!!! /i  
  
He growled loudly as he took a long swig from the bottle.  
  
Words were not needed for him yet. He didn't want to think it over and he didn't want to rationalise.   
  
iEvery time I get remotely close to her! /i  
  
He was NOT going to think about this. It made his head hurt.  
  
He jumped down the hole in his floor that lead down to his bed. Threw his shirt off and rolled onto the bed.  
  
"Sleep" he murmured. "I'll sort the bitch out tomorrow".  
  
*****************  
  
Patrol didn't seem like an option. She wasn't ready to see him. It wouldn't matter a few days ago, things seemed different then. She was confused for no apparent reason and seeing him would not help.  
  
Besides, vampires seem to be lying low and she was sure that Spike with deal any he passed on his usual lurk around the graveyard  
  
So, she decided to Bronze it. Although without her friends, just a night out by herself and enjoy some time to enjoy life.  
  
Dawn had been pleased to see her yesterday, but was still fairly cold with her sister for 'leaving her'. Dawn would assume Buffy was patrolling the minute she left the house after dark.  
  
She searched through her wardrobe trying to find something that wasn't black or leather.  
  
Something…pretty! She found, at the very back of her wardrobe a light summery strap dress her mother had chosen for her. She had barely worn it because she though it a bit too delicate for her, but it seemed oddly suitable now.  
  
It reached mid thigh and was a very pale blue in colour, dusted with small white flowers.  
  
So she put that on, accompanied by blue kitten heels and her usual amount of make-up and jewellery.  
  
The result. Not what she was expecting? She looked almost 18 again.   
  
iOh, I'll go all the way shall I? /i  
  
She let her hair loose and curled around her shoulders.  
  
She smiled.  
  
iI finally recognise myself. /i  
  
*****************  
  
Spike woke up feeling slightly refreshed. Much of his earlier temper was gone and now he simply felt miserable.  
  
iDrink…dammit, I'm all out/i  
  
He sighed, and got out of bed. He pulled out his only other pair of black jeans and exchanged them for the ones he was wearing. He grabbed the first shirt he could lay his hands on out of the drawers by his bed (which turned out to be a rather nice blue silk) and his leather duster over the top to complete the ensemble.  
  
iNow, where am I going to get a good drink this time of night? /i  
  
He was determined to remain drunk as long as he possibly could. He rummaged through his pockets searching for some cash.  
  
iThe Bronze...... bloody sodding hell, that's all I have money for/i  
  
He frowned and then climbed up the ladder and out of the crypt silently.  
  
*****************  
  
The Bronze seemed slow that night. Even slower than when she was up here with Spike the other night. Maybe it was the absence of her friends or the strange music being played. She did not recognise it but every word hit her like an arrow.  
  
bI still don't know what I was waiting for  
  
And my time was running wild/b  
  
iSpike…is that who I've been waiting for? /i  
  
bA million dead-end streets  
  
Every time I thought I'd got it made  
  
It seemed the taste was not so sweet/b  
  
iI miss them all so much. Why can't things be as they once were? This is all just an act. /i  
  
bSo I turned myself to face me  
  
But I've never caught a glimpse  
  
Of how the others must see the faker  
  
I'm much too fast to take that test/b  
  
iI'm not who I once was. I really have changed. /i  
  
bCh-ch-ch-ch-Changes  
  
Turn and face the strain  
  
Ch-ch-Changes   
  
Don't want to be a richer man  
  
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes  
  
Turn and face the strain  
  
Ch-ch-Changes  
  
Just gonna have to be a different man  
  
Time may change me  
  
But I can't trace time/b  
  
iBut would I really want to be who I once was? An innocent, carefree almost stupid girl. All I could see then was Angel, all that I though I needed was love.  
  
How foolish I have been. /i  
  
bI watch the ripples change their size  
  
But never leave the stream/b  
  
iMaybe I should talk to him. Spike just seems to be at the centre of all of this. /i  
  
bOf warm impermanence and  
  
So the days float through my eyes  
  
But still the days seem the same/b  
  
iBut will he have any answers? /i  
  
bAnd these children that you spit on  
  
As they try to change their worlds  
  
Are immune to your consultations  
  
They're quite aware of what they're going through/b  
  
iSpike…/i  
  
She sighed, breathing heavily and glancing down at the couples below her.  
  
iSpike!!! You're here! /i  
  
Smiling, she watched him as her gracefully moved among the crowd unaware of her eyes following his every movement.  
  
He was gorgeous she had to admit, beautiful perhaps. The light bounced off him, reflecting his unnatural pale skin so that he seemed to glow.  
  
bStrange fascination, fascinating me  
  
Changes are taking the pace I'm going through/b  
  
He was nodding his head to the music.  
  
iSo you know it do you Spikey? /i  
  
He turned his head suddenly, as if he'd sense her. She realised he was very aware of her presence now and felt silly for being caught checking him out. Her parted lips and flushed face was a good indication of what she had been thinking.  
  
bPretty soon you're gonna get a little older  
  
Time may change me  
  
But I can't trace time  
  
I said that time may change me  
  
But I can't trace time. /b  
  
iShit! /i  
  
He looked away from her and turned his head to a pretty girl standing next to him.  
  
iWHAT!! You're gonna talk to her while I'm up here!  
  
Wait…am I jealous? /i  
  
  
  
*****************  
  
iStupid bint. Buffy just thinks she's all that. /i  
  
"So what did you say your name was love?" he purred  
  
"Senna, I'm a student at UCI Sunnydale"  
  
His eyes lingered over her body. She was quite small, not as small as the Slayer guaranteed but certainly petite. Her long brown, almost black curly hair hung around in a messy yet attractive style around her pale shoulders. Her big green eyes stopped him from staring at her body too much. They seemed to question him with a kind of knowing or accusation.   
  
iShe's not my golden Slayer, but I like her. She's so very different. Different from Buffy, Dru and Harmony.. /i  
  
"So, what are you taking at UCI SunnyHell?" he asked, trying to sound interested.  
  
She giggled sweetly and smiled.  
  
iShe's bloody cute come to think of it. /i  
  
"I major in Art but I'm taking History, English and Classical Civilisation as well" she looked down.  
  
iAnd I'm guessing she likes me too/i  
  
"English huh. That's what I took at Oxford"   
  
"Really, Oxford? That's amazing!"   
  
"You've heard of it?" now he was interested  
  
"Oh yeah, my parents lived there, and so did I for a few years. I've only lived here for a few years now."  
  
"I wouldn't have guessed you were English by your accent"  
  
"Well I have been here for a while."  
  
He smirked. He really liked this girl considering how long he had known her. Had he met her post the chip he might have even turned her.   
  
iYou'd have been a gorgeous vampire you know pet.  
  
I wonder what Buffy's thinking........bloody hell I almost forgot that bitch talking to this precious thing. /i  
  
*****************  
  
Buffy was not a happy girl.  
  
iWhat is he doing?  
  
Is this some sort of game to him?  
  
Is he that childish that he wants to make me jealous by picking up the first little tart that swings his way????? /i  
  
But she knew it wasn't so. Women did throw themselves at Spike, but he had chosen to talk to this one. She wasn't obvious like the rest of them. She wore a tasteful red peasant top and black suede knee-length skirt with black leather ankle boots. She had been making what seemed interesting conversation with him for a while now.  
  
She looked like his match in everyway.  
  
iIs she a vampire?  
  
No.....…vampires don't dress that well.   
  
So you're just going to sit up here and watch him chat with her. NO YOU ARE NOT! He's you're man …vampire so go get him!  
  
Funny, he's never been 'mine' before. /i  
  
She ran down the stairs to get to him. 


	3. Arguing

TITLE: I'm not a title girl, I'll make one later. RATING: PG or so for a little bit of swearing  
  
SUMMARY: I know the last one was a bit arbitrary, but I did what I did for a reason, (except maybe the David Bowie lyrics, but I was bored) and it will make sense soon (I hope) SPOILERS: Dead Things DISCLAIMER: You, know none of it's mine, except Senna, who is and the story :)  
  
FEEDBACK: All you lovelies who sent it before, you really are appreciated! Even if it's negative I need it! I need to know what you think! *huggles*  
  
"Spike"  
  
"Yes luv."  
  
"Who is this?" she tried to say with no hint of accusation or jealously in her voice, and failed.  
  
"No one you know pet, just a girl I met"  
  
I God, he's just smirking all over that gorgeous face of his, isn't he!  
  
Infuriating vampire../I  
  
"Well aren't you even going to introduce us!"  
  
"And why would I do that?" he was grinning even more now  
  
"Hi!" Senna smiled brightly  
  
I what have either of you got to grin about? I  
  
"This is Senna, Buffy" he looked admiringly at the girl  
  
I ok, I don't wanna do another 'Cathy' here, but there is something wrong with her, and I mean in a demony way. Spike does NOT look at a girl like that even to make me jealous I  
  
"Buffy, that's an unusual name"  
  
"Well 'Senna's' not exactly normal is it?" she remarked slightly snidely  
  
I Earth to Buffy! Stop acting like a jealous bitch and talk to Spike!I  
  
"A not normal name for a not normal girl!" she laughed  
  
"Ditto here then"  
  
I I knew it! I knew it! She's a demon!!! 'Not-normal' my ass I  
  
"Are you Spikes girl?" she asked shyly almost afraid  
  
I why do you care, you've known him barely two minutes I  
  
"Oh" Spike interjected "Buffy's not my girl.she's" he said, mocking the way Buffy herself had replied only weeks to the social worker  
  
I oh my god! He is still grinning from ear to ear! I  
  
"Well, anyway, nice meeting you, Buffy, but I have to go" she turned to leave  
  
"So soon?" Spike asked  
  
I alright! I'm green with envy here Spike so you can stop now! I  
  
"Will I see you again?"  
  
I He doesn't like her does he? Not after all that 'I'm in love with you' crap? I  
  
"You can count on it" she murmured flirtatiously and left  
  
They both watched until she fully exited the Bronze. Then Spike turned to her, still looking disgustedly pleased with himself.  
  
"So, what did you think of her?"  
  
"Are you THAT childish!?"  
  
I don't make a scene Buffy; he's just going to love this, isn't he! I  
  
"What?" he said, VERY sexily, running his tongue over is bottom lip  
  
"Spike.." she sighed, "I'm being serious, why does this all have to be such a game? I know perfectly well, and so do you, that that was just a silly attempt to make me jealous"  
  
"Buff-"  
  
"No! You were! And.and it worked, so yeah, well done for hurting my feelings and all but it doesn't have to be like this!"  
  
"Then how is it going to be? How can it be any other way when every time I get serious you just go and run off like a sodding Cinderella!?"  
  
"That is not a fair comparison," She said matter-of-factly  
  
"Why the bloody hell not! Maybe I really liked that girl. Sure it gave me a kick seeing you all miffed over me an' her, but I didn't just pick up the first half decent bint that came my way"  
  
"I know," she said quietly "But don't you see, that's why it hurts"  
  
I why are you telling him this? To inflate his already massive ego! I  
  
"It really hurt?" he stopped smirking and look deep into her eyes  
  
"How could you think that it wouldn't?"  
  
"Oh, I don't know" he said sarcastically "maybe because every bleeding time I - " he sighed and stopped, looking at the ground. "I'm not going to discuss this here."  
  
"Why the heck-"  
  
"Because I care about you, ok! Come find me later if you give a damn and then maybe I'll tell you why." He almost turned to go, but thought better and looked at her angrily "Or maybe we could just have sex! That's all I seem to be good for!"  
  
Then he did leave, and Buffy could swear he was almost crying, his face was suddenly a mass of emotions and desperation. She stood for a moment contemplating.  
  
I god, what a fuss over that girl. I  
  
A couple of people who had been watching the pair turned away hurriedly after seeing her dejected face.  
  
I Maybe I should go see him.not for sex! I suppose I owe him something, I can at least talk to him. But later, my head's spinning I  
  
She grabbed her coat, and finally left herself. 


	4. Thinking once again

Disclaimer: I don't own it, you know that *winks* Summery: Go and read the other bits you lazy arse! And sorry this update is so short; I just haven't had the time. Maybe this weekend I'll get stuck in and you'll have lots to read. , Oh and hey, I'm so retarded I still can't get the html working so could come kind person go over it very carefully and detailed with me ;)  
  
What is his problem?  
  
What did he mean?  
  
Of course I care! It's not like I can't feel or anything.  
  
She stopped and sighed.  
  
"Dawnie!" she yelled from the kitchen  
  
"What!?" she heard the reply from upstairs  
  
"Is your homework done? And do you want any of this lasagne I made you?"  
  
Dawn rushed downstairs "like you care-" swept passed her with a bag of stuff "I'm staying at Janice's tonight."  
  
"No, you are not!" but she had already gone.  
  
I should go after her, but, she has every right to be mad at me. I'm over the dead thing, it's time to get on with my life, and that means taking care of her.  
  
I'm trying, really I am.  
  
So, should I go see Spike?  
  
She had been debating this all day, ever since the little episode the previous night.  
  
Was he, right?  
  
She shook her head.  
  
I could sort whatever this is out once and for all.  
  
But does that really mean it has to end? Was it even something to begin with?  
  
Too many questions, no wonder I don't know what to do.  
  
She walked out to the living-room leaving the already luke-warm supper on the table. She stood, pondering for a moment, then came to a conclusion and grabbed a leather jacket from the cupboard and rushed out.  
  
Ok...let's just see where I go from here.  
  
She smiled. 


	5. Decisions

FEEDBACK: Yes please! I know all of you want more Spike, but I'm just gonna keep you on the edge for a little longer, trust me, it WILL be worth it. I mean you might hear a bit of him, but not all that much *winks* And I'm gonna try and stop with all the thought tracking because it's what I do when I can't think what else to write! So maybe more action in this part, if you're very lucky...  
  
She wasn't sure where she was actually going, she just was. Not like the other night, she wasn't trying to avoid Dawn or her friends, but she wasn't sure if she was going to see Spike either. There was something calling here out and she wanted to trust her instincts.  
  
She guessed she could patrol, she kinda needed some action, which had been thin recently, especially with Spikes aid.  
  
/Big bleached.... stupid guy/  
  
She giggled  
  
/Oh man, I do have it bad for him don't I! I guess it had to be admitted sooner or later/  
  
*****************  
  
"Moth to a flame." He whispered to himself watching her from a corner of he cemetery. He forced himself to look elsewhere, to anything that took his mind off of the mortal girl he had taken into his heart.  
  
She was twirling a stake between her fingers, ambling through the dark graveyard. The moonlight fell across her cheek suddenly as she passed the trees.  
  
/Wonder what she's thinking about.....me? /  
  
She looked up to see him. A small smile flickered across her face and walked toward him.  
  
/ No, no..I just./  
  
Spike turned gracefully and disappeared.  
  
*****************  
  
"SPIKE!!"  
  
/You jerk, where the crap did you go? /  
  
*****************  
  
/I know.. I'm a vampire. But I LOVE her. I want things to be perfect between us. She doesn't know how she feels, she doesn't really know what she wants..except me/  
  
He signed and leaned across his crypt door that he had just reached.  
  
/That's really all it is to her. I have to be honest. But it hurts... /  
  
He could almost cry with this realisation  
  
He screwed up his face.  
  
/No.. /  
  
He thrust his crypt door open and stalked inside  
  
/She knows I'm here. If she wants me, and in a non-sexual way, she can come here. Otherwise that's it for tonight between her and me /  
  
*****************  
  
"What game are you playing now?" She murmured under her breath.  
  
Her attention was diverted when she heard a growl behind her back. She whipped round to see a fledgling vampire behind her.  
  
"What a pretty girl, I think I'll eat you"  
  
It growled carnally again.  
  
"So who might I have the pleasure of killing precious?"  
  
"You have the pleasure of being the killee of the slayer"  
  
It looked confused and then rushed toward her.  
  
Too easy. Block, punch, block, punch, kick, block, stake.  
  
And poof; vampire ashes.  
  
/Killing vampires isn't half so satisfying when you're screwing one/  
  
She mentally sighed  
  
/Actually... I haven't slept with him for ages. /  
  
/Oh my god! Is this how I think! So what if I haven't had sex for a week or more! /  
  
She looked around hoping to see Spike.  
  
/I think.. I think I really miss him. And not just the sex. I wish he were here. /  
  
She sniffed in the cold air.  
  
/I could go find him? /  
  
She shrugged her cold off.  
  
/Yeah, I could go find him /  
  
So, Buffy went off to find Spike. 


	6. Honesty

FEEDBACK: Keep it coming! I'm bloody annoying aren't I *winks* I don't update for over a fortnight then I give you two bits to read!! Don't I ROCK!! Anyway, hope you haven't lost total interest and faith in this story, I just needed a while to get back into it. And I was going to do something with Senna and make Buffy jealous, but I may have abandoned that plot line, or it may come back later, if and when I feel like it.  
  
/ Ok; now you just go into the crypt/  
  
She placed a hand over the door  
  
/ Oh no, not going here again. NO spike caressing me through the door! /  
  
She hesitated.  
  
/ Am I nervous? Am I nervous of talking to Spike? It's just what he said the other night... He's never been that serious and../  
  
/ OPEN THE DOOR! /  
  
She opened it cautiously expecting to see Spike in front of the TV and/ or drinking.  
  
But she couldn't see him  
  
/ No way, I refuse to believe that you AREN'T here. You have no life, where the heck could you be? /  
  
She walked across the stone floor, her footsteps echoing slightly as she approached Spikes hole in his floor.  
  
She put her hands on the side and jumped down lightly.  
  
/ Spike.? /  
  
And there he was. Lying, facing away from her on his bed reading a book, so engrossed he didn't even notice her. He looked so beautiful, wearing only his jeans; the flaming torches reflecting the light off his pale back and his platinum hair slightly tousled.  
  
/ Spike, aw, reading a book? That's so. human! /  
  
She smiled at the almost innocent and picturesque image he created to her eyes.  
  
"Spike?" she said softly  
  
His head whipped around in surprise, the book dropping from his fingers. HE turned his body around and looked up at her. His elbows propped him up, legs lying down the bed, his ashen chest glinting up at her.  
  
"Yes?" He replied innocently.  
  
/Oh my god, he just knows how totally fu-/  
  
/BAD Buffy! /  
  
"Here to talk to me or just stare?" he added, grinning a little.  
  
/ STUPID Buffy! /  
  
She couldn't help but check him out when he looked like that.  
  
"I was just passing through the crypt a while ago and couldn't help but notice that you seem to be avoiding me" she tried very hard to sound as casually as possible.  
  
"Is that so.. Really Summers, you know, I can't help but notice that you might actually be showing signs of caring about me."  
  
"And what if I do!" he may be cute, but he did make her pissed sometimes "you had a very enjoyable little go at me the other night, and now that I've finally swallowed my pride you.you." she couldn't think what to say having lost her composure.  
  
" I what? " he raised an eyebrow  
  
/STOP IT! Just stop acting so innocent with the pouty lip and the. /  
  
Spike was totally aware of how flustered he was making her. He'd intended to have another shout at her if she'd turned up, but the way she'd gawped at him the second she saw him, well, he couldn't let a chance go to wind her up like this.  
  
" Look.."  
  
"I'm looking."  
  
She clenched her teeth. "I came here to have a proper discussion about this.. about us, and not to trade remarks like children as we always do. Ok!"  
  
He sat up.  
  
"And what nature of 'us' do you wish to talk about then?" he looked slightly more serious.  
  
"You know I don't find this easy! Stop making it so difficult."  
  
He sighed.  
  
"Go then Buffy, you have something to say? Say it!"  
  
She could almost cry with the cold look in his eyes, the heartless way he was treating her.  
  
/ Is this how I've been treating him all this time? Oh god. /  
  
Realisation hit her.  
  
/I've been so unfair/  
  
She started, "everything, everything you've been saying. At the Bronze, at the Doublemeat, in that alley." she looked down, but he looked straight at her, hoping that she wouldn't totally break his heart "it was all true. I'm so sorry. I mean it. You know how hard this has all been for me, just trying to figure it all out, but I don't need to treat you so badly in the process -  
  
"Buffy, luv"  
  
"No! Let me finish!" she took another breath, and turned her eyes back to him and found them far less unfeeling than before. He looked at her with concern and warmth. " I know that with who we are it's difficult to make this work, or work differently to how it has been working, but we can try." She paused and looked deep into his eyes from her position across from his bed, speaking slowly and calmly "I don't love you Spike. I don't thi- I don't know if I ever will, but I don't not want to be with you. Is that good enough for now?"  
  
"Yeah." He looked a little sad. He knew that she didn't love him, yet, but it did hurt to hear it. " That's more than I have right to ask for I suppose."  
  
He got off the bed and walked toward her. She stood still watching his movements slightly suspiciously. For once, she really didn't feel like sex. She felt contemplative and a little sad, but a warm rush of feeling toward Spike for some reason. It felt good; it felt really good to feel like she cared about something after so long.  
  
He approached her and gentled stroked her face with his hand.  
  
"I guess I should apologise too" he murmured, "I haven't been the best boyfriend ever, have I."  
  
"Boyfriend!" she giggled a little  
  
He smiled "yeah, too much for you?"  
  
"No that sounds about right for now, I'd certain like to work on the possibility of Spike the boyfriend"  
  
He smiled back, and leaned in to kiss her soothingly on the lips.  
  
Maybe things would get better now, both of them would just have to wait and see.  
  
FINIS  
  
- Ok, I can either leave the story here (for fear of messing up what I've already created because I think I like this ending) or if you want I can go on. If you think the Buffy and Spike I've made could have a future tell me so and I'll make it a much longer, bigger and more epic fic. But it's up to you, I didn't think I'd even consider stopping it here, but I kind of like where I've left it. So if you want it to continue TELL ME and it will go on, savvy? - 


	7. Beginings Afoot

TITLE: 'Beginnings afoot  
  
RATING: pg-13 for Spikes foul language ;)  
  
SUMMARY: another chapter for Sympathy from a Vampire, although it's really more like a sequel  
  
SPOILERS: Up to Dead Things  
  
DISCLAIMER: It's not mine, I wish it was, but it isn't. Don't sue me, I have no money so you wouldn't want to!  
  
FEEDBACK: is like mothers milk to me... don't hesitate to review please, especially if you have constructive criticism, advise and compliments  
  
"Bloody bollocks!"  
  
Spike was getting to be rather irritated.... he dropped his lighter in his anger nearly set fire to himself.  
  
"Stupid bleeding fags, not even worth it...." he mumbled. But the cigarettes weren't the only things getting him down. He had been waiting for Buffy for over an hour outside The Bronze and she still hadn't shown her face.  
  
/ 'Boyfriend' for just a week and already running into problems/  
  
Spike had been over the moon after sorting out his relationship with Buffy, but he didn't really think it would last. They hadn't had sex since before all of this had started and he was becoming impatient. He understood that Buffy wanted to make it 'perfect' with her 'boyfriend' but a man had needs!  
  
/ Not a man though am I? That's what she's trying to treat me as. Like another Angel/  
  
"No bleeding way!!" he suddenly shouted.  
  
/ God thing no ones here to see me, how the slayers got me in a right old mess once again/  
  
He hadn't even called her slayer for a while. They had arranged to meet here for a sort of slay-date. He'd take her dancing and they'd keep a watch for vampires together whilst enjoying themselves.  
  
/ If I thought for one second I was her substitute for Angel...../  
  
But it was no good. He loved her too much. He was her slave.  
  
He bent down to pick the lighter and on his return upward he came face to face with someone familiar.  
  
"You ok?" it was her, not Buffy, but that chit from the other night,  
  
/I only used her to make Buffy jealous, but she wasn't a total airhead.  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"Are you ok? You sounded a bit aggravated."  
  
"Yeah.... fine.." the last thing he needed was Buffy to see him here with Senna. "I was just going."  
  


* * *

  
Buffy ran through the cemetery. She hadn't meant to be late, she truly hadn't. She had been rather nervous. Spike had been getting a little twitchy lately and she wanted things to be just right.  
  
/ Why do I have to work so hard just for a boyfriend!!/  
  
"Oh shit!" she came face to face with two rather nasty looking vampires. Normally she'd have been excited to fight, what with Sunnydale being surprisingly vampire-free recently, but she was not dressed for the kill. Her strapped heels and black dress might cause her some problems. She reached for the stake in her bag and went into stance. "Look.... I have a date, and normally, this - " She pointed from them, to the stake and then to herself "would be great, but lets get it over with fast, ok?"  
  
The larger vampire laughed "a little confident slayer! Sorry, we won't make your death quick. She rolled her eyes.  
  
They were a bit of a challenged, but she got them sorted. Unfortunately the state of her hair was sacrificed for it. It didn't worry her too much, Spike wanted her, not her looks.  
  
She commenced with her running after smoothing her dress down.  
  
/ Oh damn! I really am going to be very very late./  
  
She rounded the corner for The Bronze hearing voices.  
  
".... was just going"  
  
/Spike?!/  
  
She slowed down and walked casually toward him and the other figure. "I hope not, since I'm here now." 


	8. Talking Together

TITLE: 'Talking Together'  
  
RATING: pg-13 SPOILERS: Nothing much, just set around Buffy mid season 6 DISCLAIMER: The Buffyverse and everything in it belongs to Joss. I just use them for my own amusement and make no profit out of it. FEEDBACK: one review so far, and it's made me continue. Think what lots could do ;) And I'm sorry, I didn't proof read the last bit but I will this time so it'll read better.  
  
"Hey, I should go." the darker girl smiled at Buffy, realising who she was. Spike didn't even look to her, knowing he should keep his mouth shut if he wanted to avoid any arguments.  
  
But Buffy had seen that smile, and she wasn't so sure about it's intent.  
  
/ If she has dibs on my boyfriend! /  
  
Senna walked briskly off, perhaps foreseeing the questions that would follow between the couple.  
  
"So.... you've been seeing her again?" Buffy said, a little sadly.  
  
"Not really. Just saw her now. Didn't know she'd been here." Spike knew it sounded lame and he hated being so cold and formal, but losing his temper over what seemed a very small occurrence was not a good idea.  
  
"Sorry I'm late", it sounded hopeful, and she just wanted a reaction from him.  
  
"S'ok," he smiled a little at her, and her hearts sang. "I figured you'd got yourself in a scrape with some of Sunnydales nastiest."  
  
/ No, not like Angel is he. He doesn't see my job as a hindrance for us not to be together, he just accepts it. /  
  
Everything seemed resolved after that. Both were too frightened in their new relationship to argue anything, or pursue it further. It felt good, and yet a little unstable for both of them.  
  
"We going in then, or-" she looked down, "is it a little too late.  
  
/ She's acting so innocent, it's bloody adorable. /  
  
"Certainly nope not." he held out an arm to her, "we've made a date and I intend to keep it."  
  
She took his arm and they walked through the backdoor into The Bronze. They made their way through the crowds of people toward a free table. Spike went off to get drinks while Buffy sat waiting, but also on the lookout for action.  
  
/There is no way we'll see anything, especially not here, but that's why we agreed on it. /  
  
She internally grinned.  
  
/It's so good. It's like the relationship has started all over again, and the right way, not the wrong way. I just wish I hadn't been late. /  
  
She felt a slight pang at how she had found Spike. She didn't believe for one moment that Spike would ever cheat on her, or even encourage another girl, but.....  
  
/I must care about him if I'm jealous. /  
  
She knew she cared for him, but she wasn't sure to what extent. She was still firm that she didn't love him, and probably never would, but she needed him.  
  
/Maybe I should stop assuring myself that I don't love him and see how things go. /  
  
She saw Spike from across the room holding their drinks walking towards her. He caught her eye and winked.  
  
/Yes. And stop being a jealous bitch. I know he doesn't like it really, no matter how much of an ego-boost it is for him. He may act all arrogant, but he's not really. /  
  
A past voice rang in her head. 'I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it'  
  
/That explains it to me. He was so different then, but he's always acted how he does out of love. Maybe stupid, selfish, messy love, but love all the same. And I was such a fool to doubt him. /  
  
Spike reached the table and handed her a coke.  
  
He grinned at the indignant look on her face. "Don't you trust me with alcohol!"  
  
"No. Although it is bloody cute when you do have it." he smirked again. "Don't you remember last time?"  
  
She opened her mouth to protest, but he was right.  
  
/ Wow.... he's even thinking about me and not himself. He could so easily get me drunk and have his wicked way with me, but he wants to look out for my best interest. Why does this all surprise me so much? I've known he loves me for a long time, but I never really knew how.... loving he could be/  
  
He sipped his beer and looked up. "Not much action in Sunnyhell is there." it was more a statement than a question.  
  
"Yes, I've been wondering that too. Normally I'd be worried, but with so much going on at home, and you - " she gasped and wished she hadn't said that, but he only smiled to himself. " - I thought it was a nice break."  
  
"Maybe you should call Watcher or something. You know how much this town likes to surprise us with the most unwelcome things at every opportunity. Demons... goddesses, big snake things, vampires, master vampires, kick ass good-looking vampires - " he sneered at her.  
  
She rolled her eyes and ignored that. "Yeah, and there's paperwork, insurance, pain in the butt kid sisters....."  
  
"The niblet been ok recently?" She was touched by his sudden concern.  
  
She sighed. "I guess, not great. But - " she sought for the words. " - she's so distant. I know she talks to you, and Tara, but with me... she still thinks I'm trying to be her mom, and I'm not, but I need to act a little like her mom sometimes, because of everything, and school and -" she was gabbling now.  
  
Spike was slightly taken aback, Buffy never mentioned Joyce, especially not as 'mom'. She liked to try to forget these things so she could get on with her life. He didn't blame her. "Hey." he said softly. He willed her to see the assurance in his eyes. He reached out to touch her hand, which was lying on the table. He took it in his own and squeezed it gently. "Don't worry, and I know you will, but we can sort all those things out.... together."  
  
She giggled a little. "Not that I'm not grateful, but do you know how strange it is to get all this comfort from you."  
  
"Yeah, but I hope that doesn't make me any less sincere."  
  
She mentally sighed.  
  
/ Perfect gentlemen. Can't let him know though. He still thinks I consider him the big bad or whatever. /  
  
"I just can't deal with all this life stuff. Giles helped me before, and he thought I could deal, but because I've only really had to worry about slay- related things for so long, and I always thought someone else would be here, I never bothered to think about jobs and money."  
  
"I know. But don't despair yet. People have to deal with this stuff everyday, and they're fine."  
  
She raised an eyebrow. "But you don't."  
  
"No." he gritted his teeth a little " doesn't mean I don't know about his stuff. I am over a centaury old you know." he smiled, then grinned when he saw the look on the waiter who had just passed them, overhearing the last bit of their conversation. "And I can talk to the niblet if you like. I had no idea things were bad between you too. She was so happy when you..." he forced the words out " came back. We all were. I don't mean to sound rude about Dawn, but she could be a little more thankful."  
  
"I'm starting to not regret it all, but do you think what Willow did was right?" she looked deep into his eyes, needing the answer from him.  
  
"I really don't know" he cursed himself for his slight stutter. "Anyone else I'd say no. I've seen how magick can affect people, people stronger than Red, and its not always nice. And apart from that it could have seriously endangered you."  
  
"Spike, I was dead. Not much could have happened to me."  
  
He almost burst into tears at her sudden frankness. She didn't know how much he hated thinking about last summer. "I know that" he murmured. "But plenty of dead things can cause a great deal of damage. But I certainly don't regret it, who knows what would have happened to me, and everyone else if you hadn't come back. Bit was the only thing keeping me going." her eyes widen "Yes.... I did promise, you know that. I don't think I could have bothered with it all otherwise."  
  
/Oh God.../  
  
"I think Willow was wrong. Her intentions were good, and everything's ok now, but it doesn't matter about now. Tara was right."  
  
"About what?"  
  
"Oh, we were just talking the other night. I went round to her place."  
  
"You and her talk then?"  
  
"Yeah. I just need someone know and then" she hurried to explain. "- Someone female. She understands about a balance with magick and stuff, and equilibrium or something." she looked to him." It just made a lot of sense. I don't think Willow really understands some of the consequences of these things and how magick is a gift granted to only a few. She should respect some.... things... if you see what I mean."  
  
He looked at kindly, and with some new found respect. He never knew she talked with the blonde witch, and he was pleased. He quite liked Tara, and thought her far more sensible that most of Buffys friends." She understands magick much better than Willow. While she may not be as powerful she has good morals and sticks by them, even to the point of leaving someone she loves. I guess I admire her for that."  
  
"Wouldn't you do the same?" it seemed strange to ask, but she had to know, knowing he would refer to her.  
  
"I don't know. I don't think so. I am vampire after all, and don't have a good set of morals really. Besides I can hardly apply the same situation to me," he hesitated. " Or us."  
  
"At least you're honest"  
  
"Don't be too sure." he winked at her.  
  
"Oh please... you're about as dangerous as... as..." she thought for something to tease him with. "As dangerous as Xander!"  
  
He threw his head back and laughed.  
  
/Oh, he is so handsome when he does that/  
  
"Oh I'll prove how like Xander I am later." he grinned, and she gasped slightly, knowing his meaning, and less than innocent intentions. "Well, let's not sit around chatting all night. Dance?"  
  
"Defiantly!" he stood to take her hand and lead her to the dance floor.  
  
*****************************  
  
Woah! Now that chapter did NOT go where I thought it would. But it opened up some story opportunities for me that I like, so yay! Tell me what you think, I tried to keep them in character as much as I could, but if I did that too much it would simply turn into Buffy Season 6 :P *giggles* I forgot how much I loved this story. 


	9. Sweet Dancing

FEEDBACK: I don't own any of the Buffyverse, or #1 Crush by Garbage, so don't sue me. I use them entirely for my own amusements and make no profit. Please review to tell me how you think it's going so far and if any alterations should be made. I'm enjoying this fic immensely and any encouragement or comments are appreciated. You can probably work it out yourself, but text in-between '/' are thoughts and in-between '//' are song lyrics.  
  
He led her gracefully onto the dance floor and pulled her gently to him. A brisk dance beat began, mixed with the singer's sensual cry that started the number. Her eyes widened suddenly as she recognised the song - she liked it very much, but she wasn't sure if she was too keen about dancing with Spike to it.  
  
//I would die for you I would die for you I've been dying just to feel you by my side //  
  
He pulled her closer still to him, leading her, holding her so tenderly, she thought her heart would break. His movement was so slight, yet so powerful and erotic. She felt every word of the song pounding in her head, and she tried to look away from Spike, his eyes blazing into hers.  
  
//To know that you're mine //  
  
How could one dance with Spike suddenly make her feel so... aroused? No... Something more.  
  
//I will cry for you I will cry for you I will wash away your pain with all my tears And drown your fear //  
  
He pulled her arms around his neck and leaned closer to her.  
  
"You ok?" he murmured softly in her ear.  
  
"Yeah...." still not looking at him. He put a finger to her cheek and turned her face toward him.  
  
"We should do this more often you know. I forgot how much I love dancing, and the experience is infinitely better with you."  
  
/What the hell is wrong with me? What are these feelings he's stirring in me? /  
  
//I will pray for you I will pray for you I will sell my soul for something pure and true Someone like you //  
  
/ His eyes are so beautiful, now that I'm looking at them I feel as though I cannot turn away. /  
  
His voice was silky smooth as he lent even closer, his lips close enough to brush her throat. "I love you so much."  
  
She almost shuddered with delight at this. He hadn't told her he loved her for a while, and certainly not in those tones since he had first announced his feelings for her.  
  
//See your face every place that I walk in Hear your voice every time that I'm talkin' You will believe in me And I will never be ignored //  
  
"Spike...." it came out half groaned, half whispered. She could almost feel him smile against her neck. His head bent and he soothingly placed a light kiss along her jaw.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
"Yeah?" she managed.  
  
"What does this mean to you?"  
  
"I though we'd had this conversation more than once." she tried to brush off his question without causing any tension between them. The evening was going well so far and she didn't want to spoil it.  
  
"You never gave me a satisfactory answer. All I've learned is that you like me, but don't love me. It doesn't tell me much, only that I have a chance with you; one I don't intend to waste. Really, now tell me, does this mean anything to you?"  
  
"I don't know what you want me to say..... You're right. I do like you.... I don't like many people actually, not the way I like you. You already know I'm attracted to you... but....."  
  
//I will burn for you Feel pain for you I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart And tear it apart //  
  
/He wants me to tell him I love him. /  
  
"But?"  
  
"Spike, don't make me say anything I'll regret. I'm still not really sure so please stop pursuing it. You don't understand..."  
  
"What don't I understand?" he sounded a little aggravated.  
  
"I'm just so confused. You already know you love me and don't hate me for saying this, but I still feel a little weird about this and a certain loyalty to Ang-"  
  
"Don't say Angel! Do NOT say Angel" his tones grew louder and some of the other dancers looked across to him.  
  
//I will lie for you Beg and steal for you I will crawl on hands and knees until you see You're just like me //  
  
"Spike, stop it. You're just expecting too much from me, why can't you be patient?"  
  
"What, like Angel was?" He said the word Angel with so much loathing it scared Buffy for an instant.  
  
//Violate all the love that I'm missin' Throw away all the pain that I'm livin' You will believe in me And I can never be ignored //  
  
"No." she sighed.  
  
/ Bitter honesty will only do with him/  
  
"I don't love... no. I'm not in love with Angel anymore. There is a difference. If he came to me now and told me -" she saw Spikes face "- don't interrupt. If he came back now asking to be with me again for some reason, even if the soul became permanent I would say no."  
  
"Why?"  
  
//I would die for you I will kill for you I will steal for you I'd do time for you //  
  
"I don't need him" she bent up and kissed him lightly on the lips. "But I do need you. That's all I know."  
  
He wasn't totally happy, and he wouldn't be until he had her, but pursing this was not the way. If she were to fall in love with him she needed coaxing, not forcing. He pulled her right up against his body and put his arms around her waist.  
  
"I'm sorry. I'm just.... just a stupid fool in love, you know that right?"  
  
"Yeah.... I do, I wish things could be different sometimes."  
  
"How?"  
  
"I don't know, just that things were easier." she laughed slightly "I bet we all wish that. No, I only mean that things could be more straightforward. It doesn't matter how much we try to avoid it. I'm a slayer, you're a vampire."  
  
He wanted to argue, but she was right. This was so wrong, but neither of them could pull away.  
  
//I will wait for you I'd make room for you I'd sink ships for you To be close to you //  
  
"If it makes you feel any better you accept me as the slayer better than anyone I've ever known."  
  
"Really? Even - "  
  
"Yes, but not just Angel. Riley, Xander, Dawn, Mom..... And that comforts me."  
  
/ Does she trust me though? That's almost the most important thing next to loving me/  
  
//To be part of you 'Cause I believe in you I believe in you I would die for you //  
  
He decided to stop it there. He'd pushed her pretty far tonight, and the way with which she had reacted to it, not even protested much or beaten him down proved enough to him. She did care, but he was very impatient for more, and not just her love. The song ended and couples began to move away, but Buffy and Spike stood together on the dance floor.  
  
"Do you want to go back to my crypt?" he said seriously.  
  
/ Damn, this is the last thing I need now.... /  
  
"Maybe not tonight Spike, I still think we should wait, sex is what got us into this mess in the first place" She was just repeating everything she had already said, but she didn't know what else to say. She saw his disappointment and tried to think of something to make him feel better. " Maybe you could walk me home, and we could do a quick sweep of the cemetery on the way." she paused " and if Dawns not in you could come in for a bit." she looked to him hopefully.  
  
He was half delighted and half disappointed. On the one hand she was inviting him to her place, which was a big step and something they'd never done before. On the other hand she's given him another reminder of how hidden she kept their relationship. He hadn't mentioned it before, because he knew what utter wankers her friends were and how they viewed him. It did annoy him, but he'd certainly complained about enough tonight.  
  
"Yeah, alright." was his answer, and he took her hand as they walked off the dance floor.  
  
**************************************  
  
Reviews please because I'm not sure about this chapter.... it's taking the story in the right direction for me, but I think I just repeated a lot of sentimental rubbish that was unnecessary. I'm just trying to get my view on the relationship across and the characters feelings. Please tell me if you think it's messy, because I'm not a good judge. Ho hum, maybe it's ok; I'm just paranoid about treating my characters with the respect they deserve ;) 


	10. Tension in the Ranks

"So.... how have you and Buffy been?" Dawn turned her head to look at Tara, and then turned away. She brushed a strand of hair out of her face and looked out the window.  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Fine? Dawnie..."  
  
"I don't know what you're insinuating, Buffy and me are just great!" she sighed. She was a rotten liar. She didn't know herself what was wrong, but Buffy had just been so strange lately. A few weeks ago she had been obsessed with slaying, and often moody, but when she had gone out tonight she looked like.... like she was going out on a date. She'd even smiled at Dawn before she left.  
  
Tara closed her eyes, breathed, and opened them again. "I do talk to her you know, she worries about her."  
  
"Oh really, she allows herself that luxury" Dawn muttered, but Tara heard.  
  
"Your sister has had a hard tim-"  
  
"I know she has!" Dawn suddenly bursted out. "But I love her! I don't like the way she treats me, and you, and the rest of us! I know where she goes, I know she visits Spike, and it scares me. He was my friend, not hers, she's hated him for so long and now she's taken him away from me, and you.... Oh I hate her Tara... I hate her for pushing us away and I hate her for ignoring me!" she burst into tears and threw herself onto the sofa.  
  
"Tara leant over and pulled her toward her, "Oh Dawnie.... maybe she has been neglecting us a little, and I'm not trying to make excuses for her, but perhaps this is just Buffy's way of dealing. You have to accept that, and if you talk to her then everything could be all right. I don't think we can afford to argue, we need to stick together at times like this"  
  
"What do you mean?" Dawn sat up, forgotten tears rolling down her face.  
  
"N-n-nothing... I only meant.. Forget it." She tried to smile, "just a slip of the tongue."  
  
"Don't pretend just because you think I'm a kid. What is it?"  
  
"I can't... I haven't told Buffy, and -"  
  
"Oh for gods sake you can tell me without having to tell Buffy first!"  
  
Tara sighed, she'd just have to tell Dawn now, or she'd think she was treating her like a child.  
  
/I know she's not a child, but I want to care for her like one. She's a special girl and I love her. I love Buffy to, and I don't want to lose her trust by talking to Dawn about these things. /  
  
"OK, but I'm trusting you Dawn, this isn't just anything."  
  
Dawn looked a little concerned, but waited expectantly.  
  
"I would have thought Willow would has sensed it by now, I think maybe she's indulging a little too much -" Tara looked embarrassed "in other magick" Dawn looked shocked, " Yes... but whatever she's doing it's not right and it's affecting her awareness. But what I've noticed is that the demons of Sunnydale seem to be disappearing."  
  
"But that's a good thing right?"  
  
"No. Not being slayed, or running away.... just disappearing. And yet I can still feel their presence. They are not dead Dawn; they just don't want to be seen. Buffy mentioned it to me, and she thought her hard work recently was paying off, but no one can kill that many demons that quickly."  
  
Dawn sighed, "Another apocalypse then?" she raised an eyebrow.  
  
"I don't know, I don't think so. If the demons are organising themselves I don't they'd go to all this trouble to end the world. It's very strange. Well... I may be overeating." she put a brave face on, "If Buffys not worried then we shouldn't be, right?"  
  
/ I don't know, Buffys not always right, even if she is the slayer. /  
  
"Yeah" she said unconvincingly, "I suppose so."  
  
Willow listened cautiously at the door.  
  
/How DARE she talk about me like that... like. Like her ex! /  
  
She couldn't bear to hear anymore, and turned to go back to her room.  
  
/ Other magicks? Why does everyone have to be so jealous, just because I've got something now, something they can't have. What's wrong with me being more powerful than Buffy anyway? /  
  
She stopped and smiled.  
  
/ Because I am... aren't I? Yes. /  
  
She reached the security of her room, and closed the door. She looked out the window and saw Dawn waving goodbye to Tara who was walking out of the drive.  
  
/ She's so beautiful. I miss her. /  
  
She put her hand on the bed and remembered all their happy times together, here, before Buffy came back.  
  
/ She caused all of this, if she hadn't come back and been so ungrateful! Why couldn't things just be the way they were... /  
  
Willow was so torn. One moment she was power hungry for magick, not caring what the others thought of her, and the next...  
  
/ Things are so messed up. I need her back, Tara and the old Buffy. Then things will be fine. /  
  
She walked over to her bookshelf and ran her fingers along until she came to 'A Sorcerers Almanac'. She pulled it off the shelf and opened it at the first page. The small piece of card hidden inside slipped out and she grabbed it.  
  
It read: The Black Magickal Sisters - A Witchcraft and dark magick circle, 6 Arbores Road, Sunnydale,  
  
Rack had given it to her a while ago. He said that they were some 'interesting' clients of his she might want to know. She had thought it complete rubbish at the time, but maybe it was time to think about it. Move on, meet some people, some people like herself.  
  
/Everybody's so worried about being perfectly good all the time... I don't, and that doesn't make me evil. I'll be more powerful than any of them just because I dare to try. /  
  
She wondered.  
  
/ To go or not to go? One little visit and enquiry won't hurt, and maybe if things work out I could encourage Tara to come with me. Think how much we could learn together, it would be so wonderful! /  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
Spike slipped his arms around her shoulder as they walked slowly towards her house. Both of them lingering as they made their way, as they knew they might have to part soon. Buffy rested her head gently on his shoulder and breathed in his scent. They waked in perfect silence, which was all the conversation they needed now.  
  
"I think I forgot to tell you." Buffy raised her head to hear him. "You look beautiful tonight."  
  
She smiled. "Why should you remember? You've never made a point of saying it before."  
  
"But I should."  
  
/ Why can't we be like this all the time? /  
  
But soon enough they reached Revello Drive. Buffy took note of the light on in Willows room and the living room and turned to Spike.  
  
"I- I... maybe you shouldn't-"  
  
"Shhhh. I know sweets." he stopped and turned to her, pulling her close and kissing her gently on her forehead. He smiled "I suppose I can wait."  
  
"Really?" she grinned,"cuz I was thinking. But, oh, if you want to wait I can -" Spike pulled her right against him and kissed her lips passionately. She wrapped her arms around his neck giving in to him entirely.  
  
/ Oh God I missed this /  
  
The kiss wasn't sweet, but almost brutal. The need between them was evident and they had been waiting to satiate their desires for a while.  
  
She groaned slightly into his mouth, which only encouraged him more.  
  
"Spike..." she murmured, her eyes half closed.  
  
He pulled away slightly, breathing heavily. "No more tonight Buffy, or I may have to do unspeakable acts in front of your sister" he grinned, and she opened her mouth in mock-horror.  
  
"You shall do no such thing, you big evil vampire."  
  
He bent and kissed her lips again, slowly this time, savouring her taste. "Goodnight Buffy" and he turned and move swiftly away.  
  
She sighed like a lustful teenager and walked the remaining steps to her door.  
  
*************************************************************  
  
Feedback: The reviews are great so far - thank you, they mean a lot more to me than you would think. :) They do help me. In response things will be getting a little different soon, and I may add in some other plots to weave in around Buffy and Spike. It's been very Spuffy so far, as some of you have noticed, and that's going to change - but long live Spuffy anyway! I've been updating very quickly at the moment, which has been great, but I may need to slow down because I have school next week. But I promise when I have a free weekend or holiday it'll be update heaven once again. I'm glad I've got some of the other characters in this one, it's harder for me because I write Buffy, Spike and Tara in character best, but playing around with Dawn and Willow was fun :) I hope it reads ok. I also got bored so I went and made a little art for this fic. They're nothing amazing, but I thought they were sweet and suited the atmosphere of the story so far. Tell me what you think. (And yeah, I already know the first one is much better ;) ) The lyrics for the first one are from 'I Want You To Want Me - Letters To Cleo'. Not mine. Don't sue. http://www.angelfire.com/dragon/senna/sympathy.jpg http://www.angelfire.com/dragon/senna/sympathy2.jpg 


	11. Thinking of You

Buffy sighed and then threw herself back onto her bed. She felt so satisfied after the evening. Just being with Spike had made her feel so safe and secure... and loved. She really liked it. Unfortunately her relationship with Dawn at the moment wasn't quite so happy. She'd come home to greet Dawn who had blatantly ignored and gone straight to her room the moment she saw Buffy. She'd thought about going in after her but she thought it best to leave her be.  
  
/ But should I? I don't know if she's in a huff because she wants to talk to me or because she doesn't /  
  
She'd briefly said hello to Willow who'd seemed ok, a little pale, but otherwise fine. It was probably Tara being over with Dawn that had done it.  
  
/ I don't know why I never saw Tara the way I do now. She's so sweet; I wish we'd connected before. It's sad her and Willow have split, but it's nice that both Dawn and I have someone to talk to. If only all of us could be happy together.... /  
  
She turned to the board above her desk and smiled at all the happy faces in the photos that looked back.  
  
/ Look, there's us, before all of this. Xander, Giles, Will, Oz and me. That's how it was. All we had to worry about was the next demon. What changed? /  
  
She turned over, curled her legs up and hugged herself on the bed.  
  
/ Did we grow up? /  
  
She paused her thoughts for a moment and gazed out the window.  
  
/ Maybe we did. /  
  
***************************************  
  
All three members of the house lay awake that night, wondering.... But each wondering such different things.  
  
/ I don't like it when things change so much/  
  
/ Why does she ignore me? /  
  
/ They just don't understand my power /  
  
***************************************  
  
Spike was also lying awake, which wasn't surprising since he was a vampire. But he was grinning like a Cheshire cat.  
  
/ I don't care if things are slow. I love her. I really do. I don't know why but it's different now......... It's like for the first time I'm really with her.... When I'm kissing her she's kissing me back............. I'm kissing Buffy, not the slayer. / He closed his eyes and groaned happily just thinking of her.  
  
***************************************  
  
Feedback: Just a little update for you since I've had a spare moment. Thank you so much for the reviews! I mean it :) Every review is just one more reason to continue this. I wish I could thank all of you individually but I just don't have the time since all my free time is spent writing this! Anyway, hope you're still reading and enjoying the fic. Let's just see where we go from here then...... 


	12. Love is the Drug

Ok, yeah it's been a darn long time! I know... I promised you stuff AGES ago but I have been bloody busy! I'll try and get lots and lots done this Spring Break - but I won't promise anything! Bug me if I take too long again, I usually wake up and start writing then! I've finally got a bit of a plot written out. Some interesting things are gonna happen. Won't say no more ^___^ Just tell me what you think. Constructive comments if possible :) Oh, and I don't own Buffy, blah blah, or Love is the Drug by Roxy Music. But it's a damn good song.  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
Senna growled and threw the glass hard against the dark, stonewall.  
  
"Yes... you may have your vampire little girl" she panted furiously. "But I have no need of him - I have another. It will not obstruct my plans"  
  
She sighed and cracked her knuckles angrily.  
  
"It's a pity though, I liked him and he was looking quite promising" she smiled slightly, but with a touch of malice on her lips " and then maybe when things are how I want them.... I can have him. Wouldn't that hurt you little slayer?" she stressed 'little' like poison. "You seem to like him as much as I do."  
  
She walked over the other side of the dimly lit room toward a small cabinet. She reached under and pulled out something large and spherical wrapped in black velvet.  
  
"Here's a pretty thing" she murmured and unwrapped the dark stone.  
  
She placed it on the marble table next to her on the velvet and waved her fingers over it. Her scrying produced the image of a sweet, but worn looking girl with blonde hair. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing softly.  
  
"Strong little slayer" she sang, almost sounding crazed.  
  
The light emitting from the magickal stone covered her sharp face in an almost eerie way. Her soft elven features harden by a cruel mouth with hollow eyes gave her a frightening, but beautiful look. Senna was no ordinary girl.  
  
"Well, we shall see. The witch is almost breaking...."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------  
  
Buffy stumbled down the stairs sleepily into the kitchen.  
  
"Ahh... thank God it's Saturday" she yawned.  
  
Willow turned to greet her from the table. "Hey Buffy, Dawnie went out a couple of minutes ago, she said she had some friends to catch up with."  
  
"Oh, ok, she should have checked with me first but I guess that's fine. How are you? Haven't seen much of you lately, and you look a little... beat really."  
  
"Yes I know" she murmured bitterly so Buffy couldn't hear her, "I'm good. Got some stuff to do later today so I hope you don't mind me leaving you on your own?"  
  
"No, that's fine. I may just sleep the day away. You'd be surprised how tiring working in the Doublemeat really is."  
  
"I can imagine!" she smiled, "and you were out late last night. Where were you?"  
  
"Oh, just out. Ya' know. I checked out The Bronze and patrolled."  
  
"You were gone nearly 5 hours! You went and did that on your own? You should call me next time; I'd have loved to come out with you. I had to sit here on my lonesome while Dawnie and Tar-" she stopped and gasped.  
  
"Sorry... I guess I was out for a while. I never thought you might need me for that...." Buffy trailed off.  
  
/ Well you don't seem to think about anyone but yourself nowadays do you Buffy.... /  
  
"Oh that's fine - I didn't mean to make you feel guilty. Here, I made you some tea."  
  
Buffy sat down next to Willow and drank her tea happily. But something was wrong.  
  
/ Does she know about Spike? Or has something happened? She seems different. /  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------  
  
Senna woke up in Arbores road feeling refreshed.  
  
/ Yes, today things will be different. The witch will come to me and see what I offer her. The demons are succumbing quicker than I thought. /  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------  
  
Yes. Spike was in a VERY good mood. So good he was singing.  
  
"Boy meets girl where the beat goes on Stitched up tight, can't shake free Love is the drug, got a hook on me Oh oh catch that buzz Love is the drug I'm thinking of Oh oh can't you see Love is the drug for me"  
  
He was entirely too restless. He had slept wonderfully last night, dreaming of 'his slayer' and was now wide-awake and daydreaming about her. He couldn't wait for nightfall, and it was only 11.00.  
  
/ I could go by the sewer? /  
  
He hummed.  
  
/ I really want to see her. /  
  
He really let rip thinking of the previous night.  
  
"Face to face, toe to toe Heart to heart as we hit the floor Lumber up, limbo down The locked embrace, the stumble round I say go, she say yes Dim the lights, you can guess the rest Oh oh catch that buzz Love is the drug I'm thinking of!"  
  
He stalked over the to cabinet by his fridge and pulled out a bottle of Jacks, then drank greedily from the bottle.  
  
He walked back across the room with the half filled bottle is his hand and slumped into his chair by the TV.  
  
"Oh oh can't you see Love is the drug for me" he sung softly, grinning slightly.  
  
He leaned his head back, closed his eyes and groaned.  
  
"I love you... my drug... my girl... my slayer... my love."  
  
******************************************************************  
  
So, yeah. I'll write some more in a bit. I don't know if you'll like what I'm doing now, but I'm enjoying writing it more than ever. Hope you got the feeling that Spike is feeling a bit love struck and besotted with Buffy ;) 


	13. Things are Changing

*does the inspiration dance* Finally got some more to write, I hate it when my fics are slow like this.... it's bad for me and my readers :P Hopefully I'll get this finished fairly soon. Enjoy! Btw, just so you know // means... well you'll see - but its different from / and ~ means flashback. Hope that isn't confusing!  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
Willow had finally decided to do what she had thought about the other night. The conversation with Buffy that morning had helped her made her mind up. If her best friend couldn't even be bothered with her there was no reason why she shouldn't do this.  
  
"Buffy? I'm going out now."  
  
"Ok Will, I'll see you later."  
  
She smiled. Buffy didn't suspect a thing - she hadn't even asked where she was going.  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
Tara left her dorm that morning determined to talk to Willow  
  
/I've kept silent for too long, it's time we talked some stuff over. I'm worried about her. /  
  
She walked quickly along the road toward Buffys drive, only to see Willow walk past with a sort of satisfied smile on her face.  
  
/What is she up to? /  
  
Willow crossed the road in the direction of the centre of town  
  
/ Maybe I should follow her just to make sure/  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
/ I haven't seen Spike for ages/  
  
Buffy mused, as she got dressed  
  
/ What am I saying?! I saw him last night/  
  
She smiled slightly.  
  
/ But it seems like ages/  
  
/ Isn't that sweet - I miss him/  
  
She pulled her shirt over her head.  
  
/ Who'd thought it. /  
  
/ I hate hiding it from Willow though; I hate hiding it from all of them. Should I tell them? /  
  
She reached over for her socks.  
  
/ I don't think so... I'm sure Tara would be fine, and maybe Will and Dawnie, but Xander would flip. /  
  
She frowned.  
  
/ And flipage is NOT good/  
  
She stood up to look in the mirror. She laughed a little to see her reflection, as she was definitely looking girlier these days. Spike had commented on it and he'd been very pleased with her appearance.  
  
/ I'm not dressing up for Spike am I? /  
  
She walked over to her vanity table to put on her jewellery.  
  
/ So what if I am? Isn't that normal in a healthy relationship.... not that I would know anything about those. /  
  
She hadn't got anything planned with Spike tonight, although she suspected she'd find him hanging out in the cemetery when she patrolled.  
  
/ But I want to see him again! /  
  
She pouted in her mirror again, wondering if Spike would like this blouse or the blue one.  
  
/ Maybe I could go see him and ask if he wanted to go out or something. /  
  
She ran her fingers through her hair.  
  
/ Will and Dawnie aren't here so no one would know if I went out. /  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
Tara continued following Willow, walking just a little behind as she went defiantly through the streets of Sunnydale. She didn't know quite why she was following her, it wasn't really in Tara's nature to do something like this, but she felt sure was wrong and she was so concerned about Willow.  
  
/ I'm just keeping an eye on her. It's nothing to do with our relationship. /  
  
She hurried a little to keep up.  
  
/ It's just a little friendly concern. /  
  
She just wished she believed what she was thinking.  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
Spike opened in his eyes. He'd been snoozing in his chair for some time when he felt sure he heard or sensed something.  
  
He raised and turned his head to the door.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
Buffy's pace increased as she got near Spike's crypt. It felt nice to be going to see him in daylight since there was always something that made her feel guilty about her night-time visits. She saw no reason for not visiting him now even though he was a vampire. Only seeing him after dark made her think she was treating as something she should feel ashamed of, that at night she could pretend she wasn't really doing what she was doing. That may have been the case a while ago, but things had changed. She cared about Spike very much, and he meant more to her than a guilty secret.  
  
/ Then why haven't I told my friends? /  
  
She sighed as the crypt came in view.  
  
/ I'll ask Spike what he thinks. /  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
Willow stepped down the alley that lead to Arbores road. She turned to see if anyone was about. She knew this place was pretty hidden and felt a little worried about what she might find.  
  
Tara quickly stood against the wall around the corner of the alley as she saw Willows head turn.  
  
/ Thank the goddess, she can't see me. /  
  
Satisfied, Willow turned and continued down the road.  
  
"Number six, number six..." Willow murmured as she came into the road. It looked pretty run down, but as though it had once been a very lovely area.  
  
She walked along in front of the houses looking for the one she wanted. The street was completely empty and her feet echoed as she moved.  
  
Tara reached the end of the alley and saw Willow walking along the street looking over the houses.  
  
/ This must be where she's going. I'll wait here and see which house she goes in since she's sure to see me if I go any further. /  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
Buffy stepped through the door to Spikes crypt, after knocking.  
  
Spike noted this and smiled.  
  
"Well look who it is. What are you doing here at this time of day? What is it? Demons, vampires? Or little sisters?" he grinned at his last statement.  
  
"Oh, I thought you'd be asleep"  
  
"Come to spy on me while I'm not awares then?" he smirked.  
  
"Maybe...." she grinned back, "I guess I was just a little lonely or something and I had a strange impulse to come and see you."  
  
/ Oh stop being so cool Buffy, you know you've been dying to see him since you saw him last night, or rather since he kissed you last night. /  
  
Spike was slightly taken aback.  
  
"So it's not work related then?"  
  
"Nope." she smiled  
  
He genuinely smiled back. SHE had come to see HIM in the DAYTIME, and she didn't want anything, except to see him.  
  
He got up silently and walked over to her. He cocked his head when he came in front of her.  
  
"I just wondered if-"He cut her off by pulling her swiftly into a soft kiss. His fingers brushed up her arms and onto her back while her arms entwined his neck pulling them close together.  
  
He pulled away after sometime as his fingers stroked up and down her arm lightly.  
  
"Did you come for that?" he whispered.  
  
"No, I came for you."  
  
He gasped and then smiled again, pulling her back into his embrace and her lips to his.  
  
/ Oh god...../  
  
.... was all either of them could think.  
  
So much had changed for the better.  
  
It was just a pity it was all going to go so horribly wrong soon.  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
Tara watched Willow enter the house on the left to her. It was quite a beautiful house really. Not as run-down as some of the others. It was quite large and had an almost gothic style front. It was unlike any house she'd ever seen in Sunnydale before.  
  
/ What IS this place. /  
  
Tara ran around to the outside to see if there was a way in, desperate to see what her ex-lover was up to. She didn't like the feeling she got from this house, it may have been pretty, but she was defiantly getting a bad feeling.  
  
/Geez, look where my instincts are leading me to do this time. I must be crazy or in-love. /  
  
She sighed, as she knew what the answer was.  
  
Luckily at the side of the house there was a small window open. She looked down to see if there was anyone in the room it led to, found no one, and climbed in.  
  
It took her to a small side room. She looked around her. There was very little except for some sparse furniture, a set of stairs probably leading to a basement and a large ornate and old looking door leading to the centre of the house. She jumped back when she heard noises from the door but realised they weren't coming toward this room. She approached to door and leant her head against it to see if she could here anything of Willow. She was in luck.  
  
"I'm so glad you decided to come." she heard a silky female voice. Her heart flipped a little.  
  
/ A girl? Oh, please don't tell me I followed Willow just to hear her with another girl. I couldn't bear it. /  
  
"Well, I figured it would be for the best" she heard Willow answer, sounding a little shaken. "You're Senna right? Rack told me about you."  
  
"Yes, he also mentioned you to me a couple of times. You were one of his favourites - such a pity you decided to stop going there. But for the best I'm sure - maybe you're destined for bigger and better things."  
  
/ Rack? So this is magick related. I thought so.../  
  
Tara did not like the sound of this other girl though, even if she wasn't a love interest to her beloved ex-girlfriend.  
  
// Tara//  
  
She whipped her head around, missing the rest of the conversation.  
  
/ What the hell was that. /  
  
The voice had been soft, but very sinister. It hadn't come from a person to be sure. She heard it again.  
  
// Tara//  
  
The voice almost sung, blowing past her, but from where?  
  
She stepped towards the dark set of stairs in the corner.  
  
It became louder.  
  
// Taaaaaarra //  
  
It was creeping her out.  
  
"What?" she murmured. "What do you want?"  
  
// Tara//  
  
It persisted. Yes, it was coming from down the stairs. She looked down them as she came to them. She did not want to go down there. It was creating that same feeling of worry and uncertainty she had got since she'd started following Willow, except now that feeling was magnified a thousand times.  
  
The stairs were unusually dark and she couldn't see the bottom, although surely if that was the basement it couldn't go down too far.  
  
She reached into the small bag she had hanging around her.  
  
/ Thank goddess I decided to carry this with me. /  
  
"Fiat lux" she cried as she threw the small bottle in her hand down the stairs. It dropped and smashed, then burst into light filling the bottom of the stairs with radiance.  
  
Tara smiled a little when she remembered the last time someone had used that spell. It had been over a year ago, in the burnt out school when her and Tara were looking for Riley.  
  
~  
  
"Oof. Darkness."  
  
"Piles of it. We shoulda brought a flashlight."  
  
"Ooh! I know! Better to light a candle than curse the damn darkness. A little spell. Fiat lux!"  
  
Willow threw the bottle at the ground. There was a big burst of flame and then the entire area was lit with a soft light.  
  
"Wow" said Tara  
  
"There, that's better."  
  
Tara stared in amazement  
  
"Riley! Come on out!"  
  
Willow began to walk again as Tara followed staring.  
  
"How'd you do that? With the light?  
  
"Oh, you know. You taught me. "  
  
"I taught you teeny Tinkerbell light."  
  
"Okay, so I ... tinkered with the Tinkerbell. It was easy. And besides, isn't this better than ... using a flashlight like some kind of doofus?"  
  
~  
  
/ Mine still wasn't as powerful as Willows. /  
  
She sighed once again and stepped down to where she had thrown the light. The stairs were deeper than she had expected but she could see the bottom which comforted her.  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
"What was that?"  
  
Senna stood up in surprise.  
  
"What was... what?" Willow looked confused.  
  
"I thought I heard something." Senna looked dangerously towards the door. "If someone is in here... I will...."  
  
"I'm sure it was nothing. Go on - what were you saying."  
  
Senna smiled and sat down. "Of course, how rude of me. Well, I have a little proposition for you my dear."  
  
The way she said 'my dear' made Willows skin crawl, but there was something charismatic about Senna that made her listen intently. She didn't care about what Senna had heard; only what she had to say. She was sure now that Rack had been right - this girl could help her.  
  
This time it was Buffy who pulled away to break the kiss.  
  
"Spike? I need to ask you something."  
  
He sighed breathlessly, "Anything love"  
  
/Just as long as I can kiss you like that again, I won't deny you anything. /  
  
"It's about us.... And my friends."  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
Hmmm. I'll leave it there! I know what's gonna happen next, but this has been quite a long update and I want it on a cliff-hanger so you'll send me lots of reviews because you want me to update :D Look! There's the review button - go on - MAKE me continue ;) 


	14. The Conflict of Lovers

OK, so I tucked myself up in bed last night with a pen, paper and a jar of chocolate spread and forced myself to write some of the next chapters (perfect cure for any case of writers block) Apologies for the abominable lateness – my life went and got in the way of my writing again. Hope you enjoy and review.

Chapter 14 : The Conflict of Lovers  
  
Rated: PG-13 (for Spikes filthy mouth)  
  
I own nothing, blahtey blah...

* * *

Spike froze slightly. He'd been a little worried of the occurrence of this conversation. He didn't want things to change already! He was happy the way things were, continuing in this secret dream world where it was he and Buffy and nothing else. He didn't want her friends to get in the way of what he thought was hid. His Buffy. His Goldilocks. His Slayer.  
  
"Spike?" she said, a little quizzically.  
  
He looked up.  
  
"Hmmm..?" he said, trying to conceal his emotions.  
  
"You have... the strangest look on your face."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"You don't want me to tell my friends do you!?" she gasped with a look of horrific realisation on her pretty face.  
  
He looked at her again and sighed.  
  
"Buffy, love, I-"he tried to explain.  
  
His face said it all to her.  
  
"But why!"  
  
"Buffy –"  
  
"Do NOT interrupt me!"  
  
Her face had grown angry and strained as she put a hand up to stop him pulling her back into his embrace.  
  
"Why would you not want them to know? They're my friends for gods sake! You say you love me, but you won't even involve my own friends. I want you to be as much a part of my life as I am of yours!"  
  
She looked at him again, a sense of urgency in her wild eyes.  
  
He was touched by this sudden admission, and took a step towards her to try to reassure her. She, in turn, stepped back, waiting for his answer. She needed his answer.  
  
/Why is she being like this? /  
  
/Why is he being like this? /  
  
"They wouldn't understand Buffy. I don't want to involve them, I only want you, and...." His brow furrowed as his voice quivered a little, "they'd never let us be together."  
  
/That's why? /  
  
/ Buffy, believe me, understand me... /  
  
/ He's lying. He must be, this isn't Spike, it's his evil, twisted, vampiric way of getting what he wants. /  
  
He saw the sceptical look of defiance in her eyes and he heart sank. His cold, un-beating heart nearly broke in two at that moment.  
  
/ No! Buffy! /  
  
/ Please, don't let it be like that. Let me trust him. Please let him be telling the truth. /  
  
"Is that really the only reason why?"  
  
"Of course it is!"  
  
/ Of course it is you silly, lovable, bint. /  
  
"They barely let you and Angel stay together. I .... I haven't a chance of being with you. Look, I know they care about you, and that's why they're like that, and I know you've been hurt before" he was on a roll and couldn't stop, he voice rising and becoming more desperate with each syllable. "And I know I'm a disgusting, soulless, demon with no chance in heaven or hell with you, but you know what? I LOVE you! I. Love. You. I can't be here without you. I would die for you! I nearly did the night we fought Glory! I protected your sister and all your un-grateful friends all last summer, for nothing, except that I love you! I've been hunted by my own kind, turned my back on the demon world, chummed up to your mates, fought and been hurt for you. I even let Glory torture me, if you even care to remember. And you know what? I don't even CARE about ANY of that –" he was he nearly yelling now, advancing towards her, while she nervously stepped back, "because I LOVE YOU! And if you think I'm going to let anything get in the way of that you've got another bloody thing coming! I'M NOT LOSING YOU AGAIN!"  
  
He crossed his arms in front of her, a look of angry expectation on his face and waited for her reply.  
  
"Spike" she said, a little impatiently, but warily and slightly gasping, so taken aback by his passionate outburst. "I just think-"  
  
"What the BLEEDING HELL do you want me to do!? Get a fucking SOUL or something!!!"  
  
/Oh God, why did you have to bring that up Spike! /

* * *

So, what do ya think? I wanted some tension to break all the lovey- doveyness. All constructive comments and criticism are much appreciated. I do write this for you ya know! 


	15. Trusting You

Hey, thanks for all the great reviews already! I get a flip in my stomach every time I see one in my inbox and it makes my day when someone bothers to tell me about my writing. Consequently I'm inspired to put up another finished chapter already.  
  
And by the way, if you didn't enjoy the little scene of angst between our two star-crossed lovers, then fear not – I think it'll only bring them closer together in the end.  
  
Chapter 15: Trusting You

* * *

"I.... I... I-"  
  
For once Buffy didn't know what to say. She had no snappy retort, no quip for Spike this time. His words just opened up so many issues and made her unable to forget her past.... their past. She knew they couldn't hide what they had any longer, without it being unfair on both of them.  
  
She hadn't told any of her friends about her involvement with Spike, but then again she hadn't really told them anything else either. All her time had been spent here, with Spike.  
  
She just kept hearing his voice in her head, over and over again...  
  
/ "I'M NOT LOSING YOU AGAIN!" /

* * *

/What AM I doing/  
  
Tara had been walking for quite sometime now. Or rather, stumbling, since her light had all but gone out. It had never been very strong anyway. All thoughts of Willow and.... and that girl she had been talking to were far out of her mind. It was like something was drawing her here, some power, some energy.  
  
As her light finally gave out she grasped the wall for guidance.  
  
/ How do I get out now? / 

She let the wall guide her onward until her hand touched something metal.

/ I'm crazy. /

Tara ran her hands along the metal until she found a handle, meaning there was a door.  
  
/ See – not crazy! There IS something down here. /  
  
She pulled slowly, finding it unlocked.  
  
/ Just cautious, it's right for me to check it out. I'm a witch, I can defend myself. /  
  
The door clicked and swung open. Something in the darkness grunted and howled threateningly. Tara screamed.

* * *

Buffy burst into tears. She couldn't bare it anymore. She couldn't be strong anymore, not with Spike, she couldn't hide from him.  
  
Spike had never seen a woman cry like that before, not without making it happen intentionally. He suddenly felt very responsible, and very very guilty.  
  
He rushed forward, and pushed Buffy's arms back, which were now weak and not able to stop him from clutching her to him. He pulled her close, her cheek resting on his shoulder and her arms lightly circling his waist. He could feel every sob as she wept, just like the night that felt so long ago when Katrina had died and she had buried her head into his shoulder. Her smoothed back her hair and just revelled in the feeling of her on him, trusting him and letting him comfort her.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
"Spike..." she said quietly, "please don't say anything, I want to stay like this."  
  
She didn't want things to change either, in her heart.  
  
"Buffy" he spoke a little louder, "do you trust me?"  
  
/ What? Why! / 

He had to know.

_"Do you trust me?" said Spike, holding the handcuffs up daringly.  
  
He gazed at her lying next to him, the carpet covering their naked bodies, his eyes bearing deep into hers.  
  
"Never" came her reply.  
  
Although 'never' sounded a whole lot like 'yes' in that moment._

/ Just answer, Buffy. Tell the truth. Tell him now. /

She pulled her head back to look up at him, staring him prominently in the eyes, a strange realisation coming to her. She accepted it, and it didn't scare her.  
  
"Yes." She gasped in his arms.

* * *

Oh, I'm impatient to write more, but I'm also impatient for more reviews. And hey! I'm finally going to acknowledge those of you who do!  
  
KeepTheFaith - Thankyou, your reviews are always really helpful! Yeah, I'm glad you enjoyed the angst, I never feel happy if everything goes 100% for these two, it's so out of character!  
  
JadedxVampire21 - I'm continuing for you now wink  
  
Lucky-112 - My persuasion always works don't ya know! There'll be more cute Buffy and Spikey interaction lined up for you - just after some more angst, a whole lot of Scooby interferance, maybe an apocalyse and then they might have a happy ending.  
  
Ladyluck523 - I'm updating soon! I will be doing lots at the moment since I have a lot of free time. Things will work out, and there will be spuffy action all in good time - the longer I draw it out the better it will be! Besides, I want to keep them seperate for a while to get out of that dark 'I'm only with you to have sex with you' place that they seem to have all the way through S6 which I HATED!  
  
zanthinegirl - Fear not! Any angst I create, I create for the purpose of destroying it happily later! I'm an angst writer, but also a 'they live happily ever after writer' too.  
  
By the way, feel free to point out if I contradict myself in my writing because of something I wrote much earlier in the story! This is so long I sometimes forget a little detail I wrote in and I don't like having to read it over and over..... 


	16. An Enemy Steps Forth

Usual disclaimers apply.  
  
Chapter 16: An Enemy Steps Forth  
  
If you're confused by what the heck Tara's going on about, fear not, my crazy storyline will be explained soon.

* * *

There was no longer darkness – light filled the cold room Tara had entered. The concrete walls with no windows made Tara think she must be deep under the foundations of the house. She had been going down without realising.  
  
The pulling feeling had gone, only a terrifying emptiness filled her, consumed her. It came from the creatures all around her. In front of her, stopping her from going any further were huge 10-inch thick bars running from ceiling to floor. And inside were what looked like demons.  
  
/ All together, in the same cage? So many, so many different demons, and they don't fight? /  
  
Something was beyond wrong.  
  
/ It's like they don't see each other. /  
  
The demons saw her though; they began to get up and move closer to the bars, blindly trying to reach for Tara who was protected by the metal bars.  
  
/ But they're drawn to me.... /  
  
Tara gasped as her brain began to put two and two together.  
  
/ Buffy said there were fewer demons than normal in Sunnydale... why would someone keep them all like this here? What is going on? I have to talk to Buffy. /  
  
She turned and ran back into the darkness, which seemed inviting now. She ran, not caring about the noise she made until she found the stairs. She clambered up as best she could in the dim light and back into the room where she had heard Willow speaking. Tara looked around quickly, locating the window she had come through. It was still open, untouched, and she rushed towards it. She had only one thing in mind: Get. To. Buffy. Now.  
  
Soon she was out of the house and sprinting breathlessly down the road trying to find her way out and back into the centre of Sunnydale where she had come room.

* * *

"What IS that noise? I knew there was someone in there!" Senna exclaimed angrily, getting up and marching towards the room. She opened the door just in time to see Tara scrambling out of the window in the far corner.  
  
"What is it?" Willow asked.  
  
"An eavesdropper – you didn't lead anyone here did you? Normally it's impossibe for anyone to find it because it's hidden like Racks place."  
  
"No one, I'm sure no one followed me."  
  
Senna closed the door and moved across to the other side of the room to look out of the window at the front of the house.  
  
"There she goes." She pointed at Tara making a hasty retreat.  
  
Willow followed her to see.  
  
/ Tara? /  
  
"Do you know her?" Senna asked severely. "She is a witch like yourself."  
  
/ Geez, this woman knows more than I thought. What the heck is Tara doing here? /  
  
"Yes." Senna's face darkened as Willow admitted this, "but she will tell no one." Willows voice growing defiant, almost like Senna's. "I will make sure she doesn't."  
  
"Good. Follow her. Think about what I said."  
  
"I already told you! I don't want –"  
  
"Think about it. I have offered you something amazing. Now go."  
  
Willow left, following the path that Willow had taken back into town.

* * *

"Who does she think she is, ordering me around!?" Willow muttered when she got outside.  
  
/ Someone even more powerful than you. Keep your mouth shut. Talk and explain to Tara. Then tell Buffy, they'll understand. Even if I don't want a part in what she's doing I want to help her, and I think Buffy could do that. /

* * *

Senna smiled. It was all going perfectly. The witch's refusal meant nothing.  
  
/ She thinks I'm going to help her. How amusing. She'll go home and pretend not to think of me again. Then she'll realise that I'm the only one who understands, that her friends could never be a part of what she's become. She'll come running back to me, asking for a share in my power. /  
  
/But I'll be the one in control. She's just my pawn, and she'll be very useful when the time comes. /  
  
/ And her stupid friends won't even believe her. That witch she ran after – they can't interfere. And then, they'll all belong to me. /  
  
She fingered the old book she had been showing Willow a few minutes earlier, before she had heard Tara exiting.  
  
/ This spell is going to bring me to greatness, nothing can stop me. /  
  
Unfortunately she had made one single mistake in her supposedly flawless plan. She didn't realise that one of Willows 'stupid friends' was the Slayer.

* * *

Spike was shocked. Shocked into a joyous silence while he realised what she had said. But only for a second.  
  
Then his mouth was on hers, his arms holding her possessively to him. Nothing mattered; in fact there was nothing, except her in this moment.  
  
She struggled at first, just so she didn't feel guilty, and finally submitted entirely to him.  
  
Their lips brushing, arms clasped around each other, hands touching wherever they could.  
  
Buffy had never felt anything like it, not even with Angel. She felt free somehow, and being with him was even better than before.  
  
Soon they were on the floor, making up for the intimacy they had missed in the last few weeks.

* * *

Tara finally reached the Summers residence, her heart in her mouth from the excessive exercise she had done in getting there.  
  
The backdoor had been left unlocked and she let herself in.  
  
"Buffy? Buffy! Anyone here."  
  
No one was there. So Tara set herself down on the sofa in the living while she caught her breath. The second Buffy got back she could explain everything.

* * *

Spike held Buffy in his arms on the cold floor of his crypt. He reached up and pulled a blanket off his chair to cover their naked bodies. She sighed gently in his arms and snuggled closer, dozing slightly in a light sleep.  
  
He kissed her cheek and wrapped them in the blanket, holding her closer as they rested together.

* * *

Embo: giggle don't tell me that! Think of all the terrible things I'm going to do now you're addicted! Ok, I'm kidding, I'm pleased really. Well, I'm updating and continuing the B/S interaction and I'm going to try and do something with Tara and Willow.... If that storyline isn't as believable just bare with me because B/S is my speciality.  
  
Serenity: I make apologies for the shortness of my chapters – I do try to make them longer! I just like posting lots of little bits as opposed to huge rambling bits that make no sense....  
  
Zanthinegirl: I went and got inspired didn't I! And now you probably know the story better than I do, I really ought to go back and read it – but reading my own fanfics makes me cringe! And as to the conflict, I enjoy it too – especially when they make-up afterwards.  
  
Lucky-112: Really glad you liked the speech! I was so afraid it was going to sound cheesy/ stupid or just plain outta character... but I think Spike had some stuff he wanted to shout about. About the flashback - I might do some more where relevant. They just make me feel like I'm sticking to the essence of the show much better whilst weaving in my own ideas. And I'm glad you liked the messages, but if they get too long and annoying then I'll do them every few chapters. I do them because I just can't send an email to every reviewer without it taking me even longer to update on a horribly slow computer!  
  
Kelly: Aw, that's got to be one of my cutest reviews. I'm getting on with it!  
  
Karen: Yeah! That's why I wrote it – because S6 was sooooo wrong in splitting those two up in my opinion! Does she love him? Well... let's just see how it goes... :D And apologies for breaking your heart_ **hands you sticking tape**_ hope that helps!  
  
Bridge: Thing with Senna is she was only gonna appear in a couple of chapters as a ruse to make Buffy jealous, and then disappear! When I decided to continue the story I picked on her to be the next big bad.... so she was never meant to come this far! I guess there's a bit of me in here, sorta like my alter ego. I would go back and change her name so it wasn't me, because it is a tad weird, but.... I can't be bothered, and unless it upsets you, I'm leaving it as it is. And as for messing up Buffy and Spikes relationship? She can try.... I mean Buffy died and they're still trying to make a go of it! I'd like to quote the Princess Bride as an indicator of whether she's gonna destroy their relationship: "Death cannot stop true love, all it can do is delay it for a while." Buffy will become more honest, just give her some time, she's got some things to work through first.  
  
RoboShiflo: Glad to see my favourite reviewer is back! You're the one that started this madness in the first place, I never would have continued! And now look where we are! I've got so many ideas; it just takes me a while to sort them out in a legible way. 


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